Tell Me
by hColleen
Summary: To the bound soul, the most intimate act is revealing those bindings to another Shounen ai...
1. Chapter 1

"Tell me," the voice demanded, "have you ever allowed anyone in?"

"What to you mean?" the second voice asked.

From the darkness, words came, new voices, familiar. "What about the green ones?"

"I don't know…I almost got in once…"

"What happened?" Images began to appear. Two bodies, intertwined, the fingers of one lazily tracing the arm of the other. They had just been physically intimate, or so their position and lack of clothing suggested.

The first speaker, brown-eyed, shrugged, "I don't know. One of the nurses came up and called to him. But, I thought he'd let me in after that. But…"

"But, he never did," the red-eyed one concluded.

"No," a sigh, "I wish he would. I know that…"

"He's hiding a lot."

"Yeah." The brown-eyed one shifted, "What about you?"

"He's never been open to me. His eyes were always closed, hardened."

"But, you let me in," the brown-eyed one stated, moving in and kissing the red-eyed on fully on the mouth, "and I'm so happy. I just wish…"

The kiss was returned, "So do I." The images and words faded as the intimacy between the two increased.

"You almost let him in. Why?" the first voice demanded.

"It's none of your business," the second voice shot out, angry.

Movement, the first moving closer, "It is my business. Why did you almost let him in?"

Green eyes dropped to the side, "He…he was willing to die for me, even though he didn't know me."

"Does he know you any better now?"

Green flashed with anger, coming up, "Of course he does!"

"It didn't sound like he did."

"Why does he want me, anyways? He's got…"

"They both want you, fool!"

"Why? They have each other!"

A heavy sigh, "Why don't you understand? I've told you before, many times..."

"'For one to be properly balanced, there needs to be three points of contact,'" the green-eyed one shot out, interrupting, "I know, you've told me over and over."

"And you still don't understand, do you?"

"Why one needs to be balanced? You've never told me that!"

"Because, you should know without being told. But, because you keep yourself closed, you cannot understand! Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"I wish you would so we could stop having these conversations."

"Insolent whelp!" Golden eyes now came into sight, blazing with anger. "You have closed yourself, even to me. For you to be balanced, for you to be happy, you need three points of contact. You need me, and those two. But, until you're willing to open yourself to us, we will continue with these conversations as often as needed until you admit that you need us!"

"They have each other, they don't need me!" Green eyes dropped, hiding any emotion that may have shown

"LIES!" the golden-eyed one roared, causing the other to wince back in pain. "You cannot lie to me. You should not try to lie to yourself. You heard what they said. They want you. They know something is missing and that it lies within you. Why do you continue with these stupid lies?"

"Why does my happiness matter?"

"Because," the voice was harsh. A pause, and then light began to glow in the encompassing darkness. "Because, if you are not happy, you will vanish."

The green eyed one could now see what stood for his body in this shadow realm. He was bound, heavy chains covering him. The golden eyed one stood across from him. Never before had he seen himself or the other. Gold eyes stood out against silver. He wondered why he'd never noticed the silver before. "What does it matter if I vanish? If I die, since that's what you mean?"

"Even still, even now knowing, you would lock me out? You would deny what you know to be? Explain this to me for I do not understand."

Green eyes came up, full of anger, emotion at last shown to someone else. "You took over my life! You gave me no choice! Why should I care if you die? Why should I care if I die? I HATE YOU! I hate you so much!" Sobs rose from the throat that flung out these words.

Gold eyes grew wide. Never before had he seen any emotion aside from irritation and apathy from the green eyes. Now, they swam in tears before him. "You obviously care about something or you wouldn't be so angry," his voice was softer than he'd ever spoken to the other with.

"I hate you," he sobbed, his body convulsing within the heavy bindings. Silver wrapped around the green-eyed one as he continued to sob, "I hate you. All I want is to be my own person, but I cannot do that. I cannot stand alone. I…I am afraid to die." This last was barely a whisper, barely heard, even by the sharp ears of the silver one.

"Then let me in."

"I'm afraid I'll lose myself."

"Isn't that happening anyway?" The silver one indicated the chains that bound the green-eyed one so much that his eyes were about all that was left of him. Gently, silver caressed the bound one, "You will not lose yourself if we join, if you join with them. You will be free."

"Why must I rely on others?"

"You're not relying on us. We are relying on you."

"I want to be on my own," he sobbed out, his body bending under the heavy weight.

"No one is ever truly on their own, Shuichi," the silver one said gently, speaking the captive's name for the first time ever.

"Why?" the green eyed one, Shuichi, cried out. "Why did you name me? Why? WHY? WHY can't you just leave me alone!"

"If you die, then so do I, and they will follow you, Shuichi. Is that what you want? Is that what you desire your life to become?" The voice continued gently, but the words were harsh, viciously cutting through the chained one, wounding him.

"No," he sobbed, "no, that's not what I want."

The silver one tightened around the bound one. "Tell me, Shuichi, tell me what you want."

"I'm afraid…" was the whispered answer, almost unheard.

Seeming to caress the bound one, the silver one asked, "What scares you?"

Green met gold, "What happens…I'm…I'm safe here, aren't I?" the voice seemed to indicate the chains.

"Only if you think being pulled down, drowning is safe."

"But…I know where I am here."

"You fear freedom?"

The green-eyed one collapsed, "Yes!"

Silver held the bound one a long time in this timeless place. Tears slowed and the green-eyed one calmed. "Youko?" he finally named the silver one.

"Shuichi," the Youko replied.

"I…I…I'm ready…I'm ready."

"What are you ready for?"

"You…you need me…"

"That's not good enough." Again, the voice was gentle, even though the words were harsh.

"I…I…I need to be free." The voice still held uncertainty.

"Are you sure, Shuichi?"

He took a deep breath before straightening where he knelt, or seemed to as much as a form with out a body can kneel, as much as his bindings would allow. "Yes," his voice less hesitant, "yes, I'm sure. Free me, please." Again, the voice sobbed.

Slowly, silver removed chains from the sobbing green eyes, revealing red around those green orbs. "Hush, little one. You won't be hurt."

"I'm afraid, Youko."

Silver nuzzled the revealed red, "It's okay to be afraid, Shuichi. Are you going to let that determine what you do, though?"

Sobbing, "I'm trying not to…help me, please."

"I will, my little one." Soft words, gentle bringing of red and silver together. Had they bodies here in this shadow realm, it would have been a kiss. For a long time, red was caressed by silver as silver pulled at the black bonds. Red seemed to try and fight the removal of the bonds and help remove them at the same time.

When the two separated, four points of restraint remained. "Why am I still bound?" the green-eyed Shuichi asked.

"Until you truly join with us, you will remain bound. We can each remove one binding, if you let us in."

"Why could you unwrap me?"

"I didn't, you did."

"I did?"

"Yes, you removed the wrappings by allowing yourself to be open to me. I can remove one more binding, if you let me in. The others must be removed by the other two and by yourself. That is the last one to be removed."

"Why can't I remove it now?"

"Are you prepared to let yourself in? Do you know the way?"

Green eyes studied the bindings a long moment of timelessness. "No…can you show me?" the voice was soft.

Silver enveloped red, "Yes, I can show you. But, you need them to show you as well. We all have different paths, my little one."

"Call me by my name, Youko," the red one asked.

"Are you ready to claim yourself, then?"

"Yes," the voice was soft.

"Then call your own name."

A pause while green and gold met. "I am SHUICHI!" he cried out, claiming his heritage, accepting his path.

Silver rippled over red, "I am YOUKO!" he cried out, reaffirming his connection to the green eyed one.

Red…Shuichi clung to Youko, pulling the silver body closer, "Free me, Youko, please."

Silver and red merged, pulsing, throbbing together. "Who are we? What is our name?"

Shuichi cried out, his voice bordering on pain as Youko moved within him. He could feel silver covering him, reaching toward one of the bindings. With a final surge, he cried out with Youko, "We are KURAMA!"

Silver and red lay together, spent by the energy demanded. The red one, Shuichi, slowly moved his now freed limb, caressing the silver one, Youko. "We are Kurama," he repeated softly.

"Yes, we are," the silver one agreed.

"Forever?"

"Yes, forever."

"Who will I be with them?"

"You will always be yourself. You will always be Shuichi, I will always be Youko, we will always be Kurama."

"Will I have a new name with them?"

"No. We have a new name because we share a body."

A distant noise pulled the red one away. "I'm sorry," he apologized, "but it's time."

The silver one moved, "I know. I will still be here. Trust them."

Red retreated from the shadows, "I will do my best."

Kurama blinked his eyes open, glaring at the buzzing alarm clock. It had been a strange dream and he wasn't ready to move. He wasn't fully aware of his body, yet either. He made a move to shut off the alarm, surprised to find his hand wrapped around his shaft, evidence of a recent orgasm on his hand. Quickly, he used his other hand to shut off the alarm while he stared at his soiled hand. He remembered it all. Was it a dream? He closed his eyes and he could see the shadow of gold and silver looking at him, waiting. Would he deny what had happened? A long time, green eyes regarded the hand. Finally he whispered, "You are Youko. I am Shuichi. We are Kurama." The silver one seemed to smile and he could feel an unnoticed tension leaving him. He smiled and got out of bed, looking into the mirror on his dresser. His eyes looked soft, tentative, open. He liked how they looked, not hardened like emeralds, but soft like clover. Clover suited him better. He smiled and prepared for the day, unsure what would happen next, only knowing that he had to continue what had begun in his sleep. He was afraid, and he could see that reflected back to him in the glass, but he was resolute, too. That resolution gave him a different look than before. Yes, it was hardened, but it was a different hardness. A flexible, open harness rather than the hardness of hiding his true self away…it was better.

A/N **I don't own 'em** That being said, I'm not really sure what else to say about this story. I asked a friend if I should trash it after having her read this, and she said no...I know its odd...and a bit surreal...and very expiremental...but...I've been told you like expiremental...I'm actually very nervous about posting this...I see it being about four chapters, and it's not going to be updated daily, simply because it's too difficult to write that fast. I'm not entirely sure where I'm going, but, the muse knows...he scares me at times. Anyways...please review, but don't flame...if you hated it, keep it to yourself. 


	2. The Second Binding

He was familiar with almost every aspect of physical pleasure, his memories coming from Youko as well as his limited and carefully selected experience. But, physical pleasure wasn't what he was after. He needed something more…something deeper. Something like he'd shared with Youko, a blending of souls, a true connection. Yes, physical pleasure was part of that, the silver one had shown him, but he had to be open. And that still scared him. But, he needed more of the freedom he'd felt with Youko. He wondered if the physical act would be enhanced by that spiritual unbinding…if the other would experience it, as well. He wondered who he would meet first…who did he want to meet first? He couldn't decide. On the one hand, he'd known Hiei longer. On the other hand, as his vision pointed out, he'd almost opened up to Yusuke once. But, now…

The other students noticed his distraction, as did the teachers. They blamed it on fatigue from too much studying. He did nothing to dissuade them, accepting his teacher's kind dismissal from chore groups that day so he could get some rest. He left the school and let his feet wander where ever Youko directed. Somehow, Youko always knew where they were. He was going to trust the silver shadow in his head to direct him to the one he needed most first. He didn't question that they'd be willing. It didn't occur to question that he was asking them to basically cheat. All that mattered is he knew they could help him and he knew they'd discussed him. What more mattered? He had to believe that, he had to cling to it. He was frightened at being so open. His feet stopped and he looked up, taking in the tall gates of Sarayashiki Middle School. He'd never felt so little standing next to a wall before, in either of his lives. Fear coursed through him, setting his body ablaze while it froze him. He was about to run when he heard a familiar voice.

"Kurama?"

"Y-yusuke," he stammered out in reply. His eyes flew to the other, but he managed to avoid eye contact just then.

"Did you need something?" It was odd. The redhead was off guard and avoiding looking at him. That just didn't happen.

"Ummm…" Another thing that didn't happen. Kurama didn't stumble over what he wanted to say. It was normally as if he was reading to them. "I was hoping to see…well…either you…or Hiei…I…"

Yusuke stepped closer to him, "Kurama? Are you okay? Why are you so nervous?"

Green eyes remained on the ground, "Can we go some where to talk?"

"Yeah. My place okay? My mom said she would be gone a couple of days." His hand came up behind his head, though the redhead didn't see. "Actually, she didn't say that, but she was gone before I was up this morning, and that only happens when she's going to be gone a while."

"That'll be fine, Yusuke. Thank you." Out of the corner of his eye, he glanced at the brown eyed boy.

Yusuke thought he saw something in his friend's eyes that he'd almost seen once before…and he wanted to see it again. Silently, they walked to his apartment, Kurama with his head low, Yusuke waiting.

Finally, after he pulled the door closed, Yusuke spoke up, "What's going on, Kurama?"

Still looking at the ground, the redhead softly asked, "Are you and Hiei together?" Had he looked up, he would have seen the brunet's astonishment.

"Yes, we are," he managed to answer levelly.

Green eyes traveled the wall on the far side of the hall from the other. "He opened up to you…opened where I couldn't, right?"

"Kurama, are you okay?" Yusuke had a strange feeling of déjà vu. He'd had the same conversation with Hiei last night.

"I…I…" green eyes sought out Yusuke's feet. He took a deep breath and began again. "I had…a conversation…last night…this morning…with Youko…"

Yusuke's feet moved closer, "Tell me what you mean, Kurama."

Softly, almost to himself, the green-eyed one began, "I am Shuichi, he is Youko…we are Kurama." His eyes came up, reveling then to the brown eyed one for the first time. "Last night…he…we…I…" His stumbling words were cut off as Yusuke wrapped his arms around his trembling body. When did he start shaking?

"Your eyes…" Yusuke breathed, "your eyes are so beautiful." Before Kurama could stumble on with anything else, Yusuke kissed him, still looking into those green eyes that now resembled clover instead of emeralds.

Shuichi was transported again to the timeless world where he'd been with Youko. Youko was there, silver and gold, waiting. Brown eyes were there, surrounded in blue-black. "Yusuke," Shuichi cried out, reaching as well as he could to the brown-eyed one. He needed have bothered, for the brown-black one enveloped him as soon as he was close enough.

"Kurama," he called softly, enveloping red and pulling the silver one closer.

"Yusuke…I'm afraid."

"Don't be. You have us. We have you. Will you trust me?"

"Hold me…"

Blue-black wrapped firmly around red and silver, "As long as you want."

The red one tried to return the embrace, but with only one free limb, could not very well. Black moved against red, caressing it, permeating it. "Free me, please," the green eyed one asked softly.

"Will you let me in?" the brown eyes waited.

Green eyes held the brown eyed gaze. "Please…please" the red one spoke softly, a little hesitantly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes…" Blue-black traveled along red to one of the restraints, working it while entwining, entering the red one, moving against him. "YES!" came the red one's cry as his freed limb wrapped around the blue-black one. Silver flowed over both of them, caressing, soothing, melding with them. Sobbing, green eyes continued to look into brown as the world changed around him, returning to the physical.

He was on his back, Yusuke above him, moving within him, their eyes locked. His clothes were off, as were Yusuke's. He could feel the other's hand moving between their bodies as both of his held onto the brunet's shoulders. The burning-freezing edge of fear heightened his passion and he cried out, his head going back, reluctantly breaking eye contact with Yusuke as he sobbed out his release. Yusuke whispered his name as his own orgasm washed out of him. He fell limply on to the still shivering redhead. After a long moment, Yusuke pushed himself up, seeking out the green eyes once more.

"Kurama," he whispered when he found heavy lids over the green orbs. He waited a long moment before those lids parted. The green was still that of clover and not emeralds, but there was fear and a touch of regret in those clovers. "Tell me, Kurama," he prompted softly.

"You…you and I…you and Hiei…I…How could I?" the green eyes filled with tears.

Yusuke brushed his hand over the flushed cheek. "Kurama, I want you to listen to me." He waited until the green calmed a little. "You didn't force me. I wanted to. I've wanted to for a long time. Hiei and I discussed this." He paused, searching for the right words. "Youko showed you our conversation last night, didn't he?"

"I…I thought it was a dream."

"No, it wasn't a dream. We wanted you to be open to us, to let us help you. We've talked about it many times, but…but, we couldn't approach you, or it would have been just sex. That's not what we wanted."

"But…we just…"

"That wasn't just sex, Kurama." The brown-eyed boy shifted off of him, lying next to him, caressing his cheek. "That was more. I…I could see Youko in your eyes, and something in you changed. You're eyes…they're open to me now. I can see you…who you really are. I can see that you're hurting and that you're also healing now."

"But, why?"

Yusuke nuzzled into Kurama's neck, "Youko told you, didn't he?"

The redhead nodded, "He told me…he told me that you needed me…that I needed you."

"He's told us the same thing." Yusuke brought his head up, "In dreams, he's talked to us, telling us that you were bound, in pain, and that you needed us…that we needed you. We felt it, too." He kissed the silent red lips that were trying to slip between white teeth. Softly, he asked, "Stay with me tonight?"

"Hiei…"

"He won't be here tonight."

"Why?"

"Youko…he visited us this morning before we woke up…he said you would need…you were ready for one of us."

Green eyes shone out confusion. There should be anger, too, a part of him thought, but he could not bring himself to be angry. Before he could say anything, Yusuke spoke up, "We've been waiting. We're happy. We can wait to share you until you're ready for both of us." His grin was rakish, even though his tone was gentle. The grin faded to sincerity, "Will you stay with me, Kurama?"

"Yes…yes, I will stay." Anything else he might have said was cutoff by the gently insistent pressure of Yusuke's lips on his mouth. Tentatively, he reached up to hold the black hair within his fingers. In response, Yusuke deepened the kiss, pressing more firmly against the red lips that no longer sought to hide from him. Kurama's mouth opened to him and he slid his tongue out, brushing against the soft guardians before tracing the ivory walls. Through this, their eyes remained open, locked together, exploring. Yusuke's tongue slipped past the outer walls into the inner sanctum of Kurama's mouth and the redhead moaned wantonly as their tongues met. A long time, their wet appendages danced, seeking, learning, melding together before Yusuke pulled back slowly.

"Tell me, Kurama," he asked, "what is it you want?"

Soft clover met warm chocolate, "I want you to show me."

"Show you what?"

Kurama paused a minute, wondering how to phrase his request. "Show me how to be free," he finally asked

"To be free," Yusuke mused. "That, Kurama, you have to learn on your own. I can show you how to be open, how to allow yourself to be free, but I cannot show you how to be free."

"What…what is the difference between allowing myself to be free and being free?"

Yusuke caressed Kurama's cheek, moving his hand down along the graceful neck that turned to face him. "I can show you how to open yourself to freedom, but I cannot show you what to do when you are free, otherwise you are still bound by what you think freedom is, still bound by the same chains you want to leave."

Kurama moved to rest his head against the brown eyed boy's shoulder. "Were you bound?" he asked softly

"Some, yes. So was Hiei…more than I was, but because he's lived longer. You've lived longer than both of us, and have two souls. That is a much heavier burden than we carried.

"Are you ashamed of me?" came the white voice.

"Why would I be?" Yusuke soothed the back of the trembling redhead.

"Because I'm still afraid." Yusuke's sharp ears almost missed that confession.

"Shuichi," he began softly, using his friend's human name deliberately. Green eyes left his shoulder and met his. "You didn't ask for this, it was given to you and you don't know what to do with it. It's normal to be afraid of the unknown."

"Youko wouldn't be…"

"You are not Youko!" the voice was soft, but carried firm conviction. "You are Shuichi, remember, he is Youko. Together, you are Kurama, but Kurama is not just Youko, nor is Kurama just Shuichi. Kurama is both of you. And, right now, this is for Shuichi, so that Shuichi and Youko can come together more effectively and we all can be together."

"I don't understand why we all need to be together," Kurama's voice may have been a bit sulky, but it was so soft it was hard to really tell.

Yusuke brushed his lips against Kurama's, "Youko knows. When you're ready, he'll tell you." He allowed his hand to roam the body before his, tracing along the delicate seeming form lightly enough to draw shivers from the redhead. The openness of the one he held was a drug, an aphrodisiac. As he watched the soft green eyes seek his, watched the play of emotion through them, he could feel his body becoming more aroused with each statement. He kissed the redhead again, brushing his lips lightly against the slightly parted lips.

"Yusuke…" Kurama said softly

"Yeah?"

"I don't want to talk anymore."

"What…?" his question was cut off by the very insistent pressure of the redhead's lips against his own. He was surprised when arms wrapped around him, pulling him back on top of an obviously aroused Kurama.

Kurama pulled back, "I want to feel it, this time. I want to feel your body in mine."

Before he could puzzle out what the other meant, Yusuke found himself pulled into a very passionate kiss, the kitsune's tongue searching his mouth for places that would elicit cries of pleasure while hands roamed from his hair, down his back, over his ass, seeking desperately to touch his entire body. Deciding the words could be ignored, for now, explored later, when there were less demanding needs to be met.

Yusuke was slightly overwhelmed by the redhead's need, but the green eyes remained locked with his, open, full of desire, passion, and a small touch of fear. He saw a flicker of gold, liquid, molten, pass through those green orbs. Apparently, Youko approved, he mused before the feel of the kitsune's thighs moving a long his startled that thought out of his head. Kurama was moving himself into line with Yusuke's erection, pushing the brown eyed boy forward, into his body.

"Kurama…?" Yusuke began before he was cut off.

"I need this, Yusuke. It's…It's…" his voiced trailed off while his feet still pushed the brown eyed boy toward his body.

"It's unnerving being so open?"

"Please…" the word became a deep groan as Yusuke pressed into him. His head fell back and his eyes closed as every nerve in his body responded to the intimate invasion. Yusuke moaned and buried his lips in the redhead's neck, waiting for their bodies to readjust to each other.

The two remained suspended a long time, held still in space, merely breathing, and even that was barely done. After an eternity, Kurama brought his chin down and Yusuke moved his lips away from the graceful column. Eyes met again, both sets open, baring the darkest secrets of each soul to the other. Again, time stood still as the intimacy of the act overwhelmed them. Almost as an afterthought, Yusuke began to move within the redhead's body, barely moving at first, and then more deeply, more quickly in the gripping darkness that surrounded him. Kurama cried out his pleasure, but his eyes never left the chocolate ones that held him, comforted him, saw the deepest recesses of his soul. Yusuke's hand slid between their bodies, he too never leaving the clover orbs that held him, and wrapped his fingers around the redhead's throbbing erection, pulling it in time to his rapidly increasing thrusts into the kitsune's body. It wasn't long until that shaft pulsed out its release a second time over the bellies of the two. Kurama's eyes rolled back into his head, unable to maintain eye contact as his orgasm washed over him. The after image of brown eyes remained, though, burned into his soul. Yusuke moaned loudly as the rippling tightness pulled his own orgasm out of his body, his head dropping to the redhead's shoulder, green flashing through his brain as his body convulsed its release.

Time began a leisurely crawl again as the two lay panting together. Softly, the redhead spoke up, "Yusuke?"

"Yeah?" the answer ghosted along his shoulder.

"I…I…thank you. I'm not…not so afraid."

Yusuke's head came up as one of his hands brushed against the flaming red hair. He looked into the green eyes before him. "You're not alone, Shuichi. You're never alone. We…I…I…you're never alone." His eyes held more.

"You love me?" the redhead asked softly.

"I do, and so does Youko…and Hiei, I'm sure."

"Even knowing I'm a coward," green eyes dropped to the side, full of shame.

"Why are you a coward?" Yusuke asked, genuinely confused.

"I practically forced you on me because I was afraid."

"No, you needed connection."

"How do you know so much?" the words were almost angry.

"Because I went through this with Hiei and he helped me through it, too. I know a little bit how you're feeling. As I said, you were bound more than we were." He sighed and shifted his body slightly, moving to rest partially on his side, his hand caressing the bright red hair. "I do know it's frightening. But, it gets easier, Kurama. Believe that."

Kurama wrapped an arm around the brunet, burying his face into the boy's neck. "I'm trying, but it's…it's…"

"New, different…frightening."

"Yeah."

Yusuke stifled a yawn, trying to bury it in Kurama's hair, "Just don't go hiding in yourself again and I'll forgive you."

Kurama felt the warm breath against his head. "I won't," he whispered, "I promise."

"And I'll be here in the morning when you wake," came the mumbled reply as Yusuke's body relaxed against his. It was only then that Kurama noticed their surroundings. They had made it to Yusuke's room, their clothes scattered about the floor, but the door closed. The bedside lamp was on and the clock read nearly midnight. With his free leg, he pulled the blankets up over their bodies and then turned off the light before joining Yusuke in the land of dreams.

Youko met him as his body relaxed. "You did very well, Shuichi. You didn't hide, even though I know you wanted to." Silver wrapped around him comfortingly. "I love you, too, my little one."

Shuichi sighed. He was drained of energy from the emotionally taxing day. "I don't know how I feel, Youko."

"You will. Give yourself time. You're going through too much to decide now how you feel. Save that till you're completely unbound."

Shuichi sighed, letting red return silver's embrace as his soul rested.

A/N Well...this went better than I thought it would...to me it's still a bizzaro story...but...hope you like it. Please review and let me know


	3. Trust and Bathing

In the morning, Kurama woke with an unfamiliar weight on his chest. His eyes remained closed as he tried to puzzle out what was going on. Softly, he heard Youko's voice, "It's Yusuke, don't be afraid. Do you remember yesterday?"

In his head, he replied, "Yeah, mostly." He felt his stomach roiling a bit.

"Don't worry, little one. You get some time to rest and recover before you have your next encounter."

"But…"

"With Hiei. He'll allow you Yusuke for awhile. He'll even tell you so, knowing that you need the time to adjust, to become comfortable with this degree of freedom."

Amazed, "He's not going to be jealous?"

"No, little Shuichi. He knows, he understands better than Yusuke does."

A sigh, "How do you talk with them? I thought you lived in my head?"

"Hiei is a jaganshi, he can hear me if I want him to. Yusuke hears through his connection to Hiei."

"Oh…how long?"

"That doesn't matter, little one, what matters is that they're ready for you and you're ready for them."

"Manipulative fox."

"Yes."

Yusuke moving against him pulled Kurama away from his mental conversation. "Good morning, Kurama," the brown eyed boy murmured sleepily.

"Good morning, Yusuke," his voice more awake.

"Talking with Youko?"

"How did you know?"

"I heard you mumbling about a manipulative fox." He yawned and stretched before seeking out the green eyes. "They're still beautiful, you know."

"I…I've come too far to go back, don't you think?"

Yusuke smiled and caressed the redhead's cheek. "I'm glad you feel that way, Kurama." He nuzzled the redhead a bit. "I love you. Are you hungry?"

Unsure how to respond to the affectionate statement, Kurama hesitatated.

Yusuke nuzzled him once more. "Don't answer until you're sure. Until then, just accept it. I love you."

"Okay," Kurama murmured.

Yusuke pushed himself up off the bed. "Hungry?"

Before Kurama could say anything, his stomach rumbled loudly, drawing a laugh from Yusuke. "I suppose I can't politely decline after that," he murmured, blushing.

"I wouldn't let you decline, either," the brown eyed boy grinned. "Stay here, I'll be back."

Kurama moved to sit up, his body a little stiff from last night's activities and sleeping under Yusuke. His belly also itched from the dried cum still there. He was about to rub at it when Yusuke reappeared in the doorway, unashamedly nude. In his hand, he held a washcloth and approached the redhead. "I'm sorry I fell asleep on you before I washed you," he said, kneeling next to the bed and gently rubbing the damp cloth over the pale skin.

"You don't have to…"

"I want to. I enjoy taking care of Hiei and I want to take care of you, too." He smiled up at the redhead, "Allow yourself the freedom to enjoy it."

Kurama blinked, this statement giving him pause, causing wheels to turn in his head. Tipping his head to the side, he asked, "Isn't that selfish, though?"

Yusuke moved to sit on the edge of the bed. "So what if it is? Isn't that thought just another binding? And, which of us is being selfish? You for accepting it, or me for doing it? I told you I enjoy doing it."

Kurama held Yusuke's frank gaze a long moment, this statement working its way into his head. After an eternity, he smiled a little. "I think I'm starting to understand a little bit."

Yusuke regarded the green eyes a short time, "Yeah, I think you are. You always could figure things out quickly." He bent in for a kiss, kept brief when Kurama's stomach complained, which was echoed by Yusuke's, causing both boys to laugh a little. "Stay here. I'll bring breakfast." He left the room, grabbing a tee shirt as he did.

Kurama sighed back into the bed, mulling things over while staring at the ceiling. His eyes began to scan the room, taking in the fighting posters, the desk piled with manga, the clothes scattered on the floor, his eyes finally lighting on the clock. He gasped and sat up again when he saw it read almost 10 o'clock. "Relax," Yusuke's voice came from the door. "It's the first day of break, remember?"

"Oh," Kurama blushed, looking over to see the brunet wearing his tee and nothing else as he carried two steaming plates. His eyes followed the lines of the white fabric to where it stopped, tantalizingly close to where dark curls crowned the heavy weight of Yusuke's flaccid shaft. He felt a twinge of desire course its way through his body, eliciting pain signals from his lower back and anus.

Yusuke hadn't missed the wandering green eyes as he walked across the room. "Not till later," he reproved, his voice teasing. "You need food first, and a bath, and a back rub."

Kurama brought his eyes up to meet the warm brown ones and teased back, "Are you going to feed and bathe me?"

Handing the plate that contained scrambled eggs, "No, you can feed yourself. But, I would like to bathe you, if you'll let me."

Kurama paused a minute, almost arguing within himself and with Yusuke before he smiled and said, "I'd like that."

Yusuke smiled, "Good, now eat before they get cold."

Kurama turned things over in his head, thinking his conversations with Youko and Yusuke over. He was getting no where fast, and decided to distract himself a bit, "Why are you wearing a tee shirt?"

Yusuke laughed, "Have you ever cooked? I didn't want to get splattered." He then became serious, "Don't think too much, okay. Just let things happen for now. You'll understand eventually.

Kurama dropped his eyes to his plate and stirred around the eggs a bit. "It's kinda disorienting, and …a little frightening."

"I know," Yusuke caressed the redhead's cheek, "but, you'll be okay. I promise. None of us, not me, not Hiei, not Youko wants to hurt you."

Softly, still looking at the plate, "I know."

Yusuke set down his empty plate and took Kurama's half eaten plate away from him. He scooped up some of the soft eggs and held the fork out to the redhead. "Eat."

Kurama smiled and opened his mouth, letting his mind solely focus on the simple pleasure of being taken care of. A couple of times, the thought came up that he wasn't a child, but he'd remind himself that Yusuke enjoyed it. Before long, the eggs were gone. "Let me put these away," Yusuke said, indicating the plates, "and then I'll start the water running in the bath."

Kurama mused while he listened to Yusuke move about in the apartment. 'Free to be taken care of…free of expectations…of niceties…is that what they mean?'

"Not completely," Youko answered softly, "but you're getting there. You still have much to learn. Enjoy your bath."

"Talking with Youko again?" Yusuke asked from the side of the bed.

Kurama looked up, a little surprised. "How did you know?"

"You get a bit spacey, and I can see a bit of gold in your eyes when you're talking to him." Yusuke paused, thinking, "And, well…I can sort of hear him…I can hear you, too. I thought that had to do with Hiei being a jaganshi…being able to hear him…but, I guess not…I can hear you in my head."

Kurama paused. He froze physically and mentally while that statement permeated his mind. Softly, in his head, he could hear Yusuke plead, "Don't close your eyes again, please. They're so beautiful."

"It's so much to take in," he replied the same way.

He felt Yusuke sit on the bed and wrap his arms around him. "I know," he whispered physically.

"I won't…I won't go back," Kurama murmured, resting his forehead on the shoulder of the one that held him.

Yusuke tightened his arms around the redheaded one. "I love you."

"I know," he whispered back.

Yusuke rubbed his back gently. "Progress already," he quipped before pulling away. "C'mon, don't want the tub to overflow." He pulled the redhead's hand for him to follow.

Kurama submitted to Yusuke's lead into the bathroom. The air was warm and softly scented of eucalyptus and the tub mounded high with "…bubbles?"

Yusuke grinned, "Yeah, I like 'em. And, it's a good excuse to shower afterwards," he winked, deliberately seductive.

"Why do I think I'll finish this experience in more need of a bath than I am now?"

Yusuke wrapped his arms around the redhead, "You know me that well already?" His lips went to the graceful neck, just under Kurama's ear, "Bath first, though. And I want you to let me do everything for you. You're not even allowed to sit up by yourself. Trust me with your body." He pulled back and looked into the clover green eyes, waiting.

A moment of hesitation, and Kurama's eyes showed quiet decision, "Okay. I trust you." He gasped and his eyes widened as his feet were swept out from under him. His arms went around Yusuke's neck as he sought warm chocolate eyes.

Yusuke met his startled gaze. "I won't hurt you. Trust me."

"I was…was just startled. I do trust you." This statement earned him a quick kiss on the lips before Yusuke carefully turned his attention to walking across the room and slowly lowering Kurama into the warm foamy water. He almost giggled, "The bubbles tickle."

Yusuke grinned at him, and finished lowering his precious burden into the water. With utmost care, he leaned the relaxed body against the end of the tub before slipping his hands out from behind the back and under the knees of his lover. His bubble covered hands came up and caressed the pale skin of the redhead's face before his lips came in and gently touched the parted petals across from him. The openness of the green eyes before his was just as much of a drug as it'd been the night before, perhaps even more so with exposure. Kurama let his head rest on the end of the tub, his whole body relaxed as he watched Yusuke. "Close your eyes and let your mind drift," Yusuke murmured as he reached for the washcloth. Yusuke would have rather stared into those green eyes forever, but Youko's voice in his head reminded him he had more to do. He could feel Hiei's growing impatience as well. He watched as Kurama hummed a sigh and closed his eyes, his expression peaceful, unguarded. Reluctantly, Yusuke looked away to turn off the water and dip a clean washcloth under the foamy bubbles. He began with Kurama's feet, carefully lifting each one from under the water and thoroughly cleansing it, even between the toes before returning it to the water. Kurama's feet were a little ticklish and he flinched a couple of times, but his body remained relaxed, his eyes closed, his expression calm.

Yusuke removed his hands from the water and quickly pulled off his tee, returning to the water to wash Kurama's ankles and calves with the same care he'd used on the redhead's feet. Continuing on, Yusuke deliberately opened the fragile connection he'd formed with Shuichi and Youko. The red showed, green hidden, as they were physically. Silver rippled around the red one and showed Yusuke wounds, old and new. Silently, so as not to disturb the red one and put him back on guard, Yusuke, blue-black here, rippled softly over the still form, gently soothing away the old wounds and helping new ones to heal as much as he could. There were some he could not touch, however, and some wounds on his own form the red one would soothe away later, when he was more healed.

Youko moved to hold both Yusuke and Shuichi, wrapping around them and letting them both rest in the timelessness that was his realm now. Yusuke held the red one, caressing him as Shuichi remained relaxed, his eyes hidden, surrendering to Yusuke's touch, to Youko's touch.

Slowly, Yusuke became aware of the physical world again. He had moved into the water and was straddling the redhead's lap as Kurama rested limply against his chest. Yusuke's hands were caressing the exposed back and Kurama was breathing softly into his neck. "I love you, my Shuichi, my Youko, my Kurama," Yusuke whispered into the red hair.

Kurama mumbled something into Yusuke's neck that sounded like "We love you, too," but was so soft, Yusuke wasn't totally sure.

He tightened his arms around the body of the redhead, "Time to wake up, love. Open your eyes. I can't quite hold you up in a shower."

Kurama stirred, his arms moving to hold Yusuke. "I'm awake," he mumbled, nuzzling into the brunet's neck, "but, it feels so good to be relaxed." He yawned, burying it in Yusuke's shoulder.

"I know it does," Yusuke agreed easily, his hands continuing to rub the back that was slowly regaining tension, preparing to support the weight of the redhead's body. "Take your time, we're not in a hurry."

"Mmmm, good, 'cause I don't think I could hurry right now." Slowly, he pulled his head away from Yusuke's shoulder, his eyes open, seeking out warm chocolate.

Yusuke almost gasped when the deep green eyes, more like pine than clover, met his. He did gasp when the change in the redhead's posture brought together their erections, causing them to rub together under the clouds of eucalyptus scented bubbles. Kurama moaned at this contact and his eyelids drifted halfway closed, but refused to close completely, wanting to be lost in the chocolate colored orbs.

"Here or in the shower?" Yusuke asked, rocking his hips lightly against the redhead's body.

Kurama moaned and wrapped his hands over Yusuke's shoulders, pulling him over his body as he leaned back against the tub. "Here, just like this," he answered, letting his hips move against Yusuke's.

"We'll make a mess," Yusuke murmured, his hips returning the action.

"We're taking a shower anyways," Kurama returned, his arms sliding under Yusuke's and around the brunet's back.

"True," Yusuke conceded. Through this, their eyes remained locked on each other, each unwilling to break eye contact, unwilling not to be bare before the other. Silently they continued to move against each other, the water making sloshing noises and the bubbles dissipating as they were thrashed about, but neither boy caring. All that mattered in the world was held between green and brown. As the tension between them grew too unbearable, the two kissed, their eyes drifting closed, but both still connected. The kiss remained fairly innocent, only lips touching, exploring, as their bodies moved with increasing urgency. With a whimper from one of them, their bodies found completion in the warm sudsy water and they relaxed into the tub, their kiss becoming deeper as their tongues, freed now, explored the other's mouth. A long time passed, almost as timeless as the Youko's world, and they were forced to pull away by the need for air. "I love you, Kurama," Yusuke murmured, his eyes opening, meeting the dark soft green orbs.

Kurama opened his mouth and hesitated. "I can't say it yet, Yusuke."

"I don't expect you to, Kurama. Don't feel you ever have to. Just know, I love you."

"I want to, but…"

"You're not ready yet. I understand and I'd never rush you. Take all the time you need."

"Thank you," Kurama whispered, his arms tightening around the brunet above him.

Yusuke kissed the redhead. "C'mon, you need a shower," Yusuke groused, pushing himself off the redhead.

"So do you," Kurama countered, moving to follow Yusuke as he stood. The brown eyed boy reached down and pulled the plug, releasing the water from the tub before stepping out of the water and moving to start the shower. Kurama remained standing in the draining water, feeling the pull around his ankles, watching as the reduced foam lowered along his legs. He was musing when Yusuke's hand came to rest on his forearm. "It's like it's taking all the hurt away, pulling it out, draining it out my toes," he said softly. Yusuke remained silent, lacing his fingers with the redhead's, making no move to hurry him in anyway as green eyes continued to watch the water recede until it was all gone. "Is that silly?" he asked, his eyes coming up to meet patient brown.

"Why would it be? It's how you feel. It's how you experience things. There's nothing silly about it. Besides, it's good for the hurt to be leaving. Are you ready?"

"Yeah," he answered softly, allowing himself to be guided out of the tub under the warm spray. Yusuke was gentle and loving as he washed the redhead's body from head to toe, washing his hair, his face, every part of the redhead that hadn't been washed in the bath, every part that had, even lifting his feet and cleansing those. Kurama laughed a little. "You're very thorough," he teased as Yusuke finished one foot and tapped the ankle of the other.

"Would you rather I wasn't?" the brunet countered.

Kurama laughed and when Yusuke stood back up again, took the washcloth from him. "My turn."

"Oh, why is that?" Yusuke quizzed, his head to one side.

"I want to," Kurama answered simply. And that was all there was to it. He didn't feel he had to because Yusuke had washed him, he only wanted the pleasure of washing Yusuke, for no other reason than to do it.

Yusuke searched the green eyes a moment before conceding, "Okay."

With the same care Yusuke had given him, Kurama washed the black hair, his face, neck, all the way down his body, even his feet, between the toes. "And I'm thorough?" Yusuke quipped back at the redhead.

"You knew this about me before. I don't do things half way."

"No, you don't, do you?" Yusuke wrapped his arms around the redhead as he stood up.

Though Kurama tried to fight it, he yawned hugely, burying his face in Yusuke's shoulder. Before he could apologize, Yusuke murmured, "You're going through a lot. You need more sleep right now. It's okay. Let's dry you off and put you back to bed." With delicate care, Yusuke did just that.

"Hiei will be here when you wake up. He wants to talk to you, to see how you're doing. I'll still be here, too, so don't worry. Love you." He bent down and kissed the redhead.

"I won't worry," Kurama murmured as his eyes drifted closed. Yusuke left the room and his eyes focused on the clock long enough to see it was close to eight o'clock. Tiredly, he wondered how the water stayed warm so long.

Youko wrapped his silver form around the red one. "Don't worry about anything, Shuichi, just rest." And the red one drifted within silver.

A/N: A brief note on Japanese style bathing rooms: My source is Kimi wa Petto, which is a live action show, but the bath tub is large and raised in the center of the room. The whole room is tiled and the shower faucet is set into one wall. I want one! lol

Another brief note: When males are relaxed, they will be erect…there are muscles in the penis that when contracted, as they are most of the time, will make the male appear "flaccid" but when those muscles relax, they extend, as any other muscle does. Now you know why cold has such a…detrimental effect on males.

Last brief note: I love the smell of eucalyptus...I work in the airport and we (the company I work for) has a spa store that carries Thymes Eucalyptus and it is the most wonderful smell...we also have a lavender and eucalyptus candle...to me, that is just a very masculine scent.


	4. Third and Fourth

Yusuke sat on the couch, head resting against the back of it, eyes closed, unconcerned that he was still undressed. The soft noises of someone else in the room didn't cause a change in his relaxed demeanor, nor did the weight of someone naked straddling his lap. He moaned softly when lips found his neck and traced the faint pulse there. There were no words exchanged, no movement from Yusuke, as those lips continued to minister to the boy's neck and shoulders, nor were any expected. Those lips made their way up his neck, along his jaw line, finally pressing against his slightly parted lips. Finally, he moved, his fingers coming to tangle in the wild hair of the one above him, deepening their kiss, seeking connection to the one who loved him. Their tongues merged, caressing each other delicately, not seeking dominance, only seeking and finding a soul-deep companionship. That connection reestablished, the two separated, brown eyes opening to see red above him. "Thank you for your help today," Yusuke whispered.

Hiei's expression softened, "We've been waiting so long, I couldn't stay away."

"I know, love. He's allowing himself to progress quickly."

"Don't you think you rushed him a bit at first?"

Yusuke blushed, "Yeah, maybe…but his eyes were so beautiful. You should see them, so soft and open."

"I will, in the morning."

Yusuke's hand caressed the cheek of the one above him. "You're eyes remind me of blood," he murmured, "rich, warm, life giving."

"You always notice eyes, don't you?"

"They tell the truth, they reveal the soul."

"Always?"

Yusuke paused to consider, "When they're open, they do."

"Your eyes show that you are tired and need to be cared for a bit."

"It's been a long day," Yusuke conceded, surrendering to the koorime's touch as Hiei began massaging his shoulders. He allowed his eyes to remain suspended in Hiei's, simply enjoying their connection. Hiei permitted this, holding his lover's gaze, because he knew it allowed the brown eyed boy to relax, to open up to him.

"A very long day," he agreed, his hands slowly working from Yusuke's shoulders to his chest and bending in to kiss the relaxed boy. "So, it is my turn to pamper you."

"Mmmm, I like it when you do that," Yusuke smiled.

"I never would have guessed," Hiei teased gently, bending in to kiss Yusuke's willing lips, effectively ending their verbal conversation. The physical connection made, Hiei opened his connection to Yusuke's soul and the two came together, one blue-black with brown eyes, the other black flames with blood red eyes. Silver with gold joined them and they both reached out and welcomed him. Silver flowed over both blacks, caressing each and melding with them both. The black flames caressed the brown eyed one, soothing away his fatigue, calming him when minor concerns about how he'd rushed the redhead at first surfaced.

"You did the right thing, Yusuke," the silver one spoke up. "Had you been more tentative, he might have run. He was ready to."

Brown and gold met, "Youko, you really are a manipulative fox, aren't you?"

Silver seemed to smile back at him as it wrapped around him, merging with him. "I do what I need to do in order to bring out the best…to bring the best to the one whose life I stole."

"So, all this is for you?"

"Not completely. Some of it is, yes, but it will help Shuichi, as well. There may come a time when I have to leave him, though I hope not, and if that happens, were he to remain bound, he would not survive the separation of our souls. By allowing him to be freed, by helping him be free, I am making sure he can be whole."

"Why would you leave, Fox?" Hiei asked.

Silver caressed the two, his golden eyes dim with sorrow, "I don't ever want to, but I didn't want to join with a human soul in the first place. Some times, life takes choices out of your hands," his voice was pale.

Blue-black and black fire moved to surround the silver one. "We will do what we can to protect you from that ever happening," they swore on the same breath.

Gold eyes softened, "I know. I love you both."

The three remained tangled together a long stretch of timelessness, caressing, soothing, rippling over each other. Slowly, Yusuke and Hiei became aware of the physical world around them. Yusuke was lying on the couch he'd been sitting on, his eyes still locked with Hiei's warm red ones as the koorime moved within him. Hiei's hand moved between their bodies, and they were both near their completion. Hiei's body tightened first, his hand clutching tightly around Yusuke's arousal as his body convulsed deep within the brown eyed boy. He called out to his lover as he felt the other's shaft pulse within his hand, the boy calling to him as his pleasure washed from his body.

Hiei allowed his body to rest limply on Yusuke a long time, listening to the boy's heart beat slow and return to normal as his body calmed. "We should go to bed," he finally murmured.

Yusuke yawned, burying his face into Hiei's spiky hair, "Yeah, we should."

"Wait a moment." Hiei moved off the lax body of his lover and moved around the apartment to find a washcloth. With gentleness that no one would believe possible from the fierce fighter, Hiei washed Yusuke's body before lifting him from the couch

"I love you," Yusuke muttered, his head resting against the strong shoulder of the one who carried him. Hiei merely grunted as he set Yusuke's body on the bed next to the redhead. Yusuke turned to face the red hair, since Kurama had turned on his side, and snuggled into the pale back. Kurama moaned and wriggled a bit, moving back into Yusuke. Hiei smiled at the sight and crawled into the bed in front of the redhead. He soon found himself drawn back into the redhead's grip, surprisingly tight for as asleep as he was. He hummed a little in pleasure as Yusuke draped his arm over the both of them and let himself drift to a quiet sleep.

Before he opened his eyes, Kurama knew who held him and who he held. A small smile crossed his lips and he felt Youko stir within him. "They're both here," he told the silver one.

"I know," Youko answered.

"I don't feel afraid any more, Youko."

Silver wrapped around red, "And why is that, my little Shuichi?"

Red sighed, "Because you're here, they're here. I'm not alone. I know where I am. I trust you and them."

"Good answers," Yusuke's voice came to him and he saw blue-black coming toward him. Red reached out and pulled the brown eyed one close.

"Am I allowed in?" a new voice emerged from the darkness. Not unfamiliar, just new.

Shuichi reached out to the black flames. "Please!"

The flames flowed over the red one, red eyes meeting green as this happened. "What will you of me?" the flames asked.

"Free me, Hiei," the red one answered.

"Come to me, then, and be freed."

Red flowed as well as the two points of restraint would allow, seeking to fill the fire the way he'd been filled by the other two. He struggled against his binding, fighting them, but couldn't break free enough to reach the fire well enough. "Help me, please."

"Is this what you want?"

"It's what I need. Please, help me."

Black flames flowed along the red one, undoing the restraint, freeing one more point of the red one. Red surged forward to feed the fire, seeking to be consumed by it, to fill it with himself. He could feel the blue-black move within him and silver move about them, and it was right, it was what should be. He felt free despite being contained by the three and the one remaining binding. He cried out his joy, tears forming in his eyes as he moved with the other three.

Kurama's eyes opened and he found himself on his knees, Hiei bent before him, Yusuke behind him, all moving in concert. His hand was around Hiei's waist, moving in time to their bodies to bring Hiei to release. It wasn't long before he felt his body begin to tense as Hiei's body arched and reached its pinnacle, pulsing in his hand and around him. He let himself be pulled over, feeling Yusuke follow him. Time again stood still and he felt a little lost, not being able to see the other's eyes. Hiei turned and met his seeking eyes, giving him an anchor in the physical world. He felt himself being laid down gently and reached for Hiei as his side touched the bed. Vaguely, he felt Yusuke leave the bed, but his mind was captive by the red eyed one he held.

After a long moment, Hiei spoke, "He's right, your eyes are beautiful."

Kurama smiled, but before he could respond, Yusuke was back in the room, washing both of them, "I told you," he grinned at the two. "How you doing, Kurama?"

The redhead rolled onto his back, keeping eye contact with Hiei, exposing himself for Yusuke to clean better, "I'm feeling good," he answered simply, still smiling, the expression lighting his eyes, making them sparkle with a new vibrancy. "I feel very, very good. I feel almost like I could just fly away!" He laughed at himself and let his eyes meet the brown ones above him.

"Gods," Yusuke breathed, his body reacting quickly to the drug that was those green orbs. Before he was fully aware of what he was doing, his lips were on the redhead's, their eyes locked, and he was crawling over Hiei, pulling the koorime with him

Softly, when he heard Kurama's body complain, Hiei asked, "Is he going to have to wear sunglasses to get some food?"

Yusuke pulled back. "Oh, Kurama…I'm sorry. You need to eat. All you had yesterday was some eggs!" He scrambled off the bed, looking around for clothes, "I have to go out, there's not much more than a package of ramen. I'll be back in a little bit. Will you be okay?" he stammered out, almost in one breath.

Kurama laughed at his friend, his lover, "Yusuke, I'll be fine, it's okay."

"Besides," Hiei added, "I'm here and you had him to yourself all yesterday. We'll be fine, detective." The last word came out somewhere between reproof and a caress.

Yusuke bent over the bed and kissed Hiei, "I know, I'm being selfish. I'll give you your time, too."

"I know," Hiei replied, running his fingers through the messy black hair. "You may want to run a comb through that," he teased.

"I will," Yusuke answered as he stretched across the bed and kissed Kurama. "I love you."

Kurama smiled, "Yes," he hesitated a moment, his mouth working, "…and I can almost say it."

"No one's in a hurry, love."

"I know," Kurama answered, remaining relaxed on the bed. "Now," his voice took a mock regal tone, "bring me food before I eat Hiei!"

Yusuke laughed, "He just may like that!" At Hiei's growl, Yusuke stood up, "Okay, I'm going!"

The two on the bed remained silent until they heard the door close behind the brown eyed boy, their eyes on the ceiling. After a pause, Hiei began, "Kurama…"

The redhead turned to face him, "Hiei…"

"I didn't expect for us to…to wake up the way we did." He avoided contact with those green orbs.

"It's okay, Hiei."

"You should have had time…"

"Hiei," the redhead cut him off. "Look at me, please," his tone was soft. When the red orbs met his, he began, his voice still soft, "I don't feel like I was rushed. You were more than patient to give me a full day with Yusuke, when I can see how much he cherishes you and how much you care for him. I feel that you both have been more than patient with me. I've been a fool for so long, keeping myself bound needlessly. I want to be free." His eyes began to reflect self rebuke.

"Don't do that!" Hiei commanded, both physically and though the fragile connection they now shared. "Do not punish yourself for being who you are."

"But, who I was kept me from you…"the voice carried the same scorn the eyes held, and the words were cut off by the pressure of the koorime's finger against his lips.

"If you continue that way, you will find yourself bound again, Kurama. Please, stop," his eyes were full of concern.

"I don't want to be bound again," the redhead whispered against his finger.

"Guilt is a sure way to remain bound. Things happen in order, Shuichi. There is no need to feel guilty for them."

Green eyes closed briefly, struggling to take in the words. "I know there is no need for guilt, Hiei. But…I've put everyone, you, Yusuke, Youko…myself…through so much…I'm trying," he said, acknowledging the voice in his head, "I'm trying not to blame myself, Hiei." He opened his eyes, the green troubled as they met red. "I don't want to go back," he whispered.

Silently, Hiei wrapped his arms around the redhead, pulling him as close as he could. "I forgive you, Shuichi. Yusuke forgave you the moment you met his eyes day before yesterday. Youko forgave when he joined with you. All that remains is for you to forgive yourself." Hiei pulled the redhead on top of him as he rolled onto his back. Kurama's head went to the pillow, his eyes drowning in tears. "Let it out, Shuichi." The voice was so soft, Kurama didn't know if it was physical or mental, but it broke the dam in him, his tears spilling over as sobs wracked his body.

Hiei held him, caressing his back, letting him spill his guilt and anxieties into the pillow. Gently, he opened their connection, seeing the red writhing in pain as black chains tried to form about him. Youko stood back, watching, knowing that this was not something he could help the other through, and it pained him, the silver twisting about itself, as if wringing its hands. Slowly, the black fire approached the red one, softly touching it. Watery green eyes met red, and the black flames spoke, "Will you let me help you?"

"Please, if my weakness doesn't disgust you."

The black flames wrapped more firmly around the red one, "You are not weak. If you were, you never would have been unbound in the first place. You never would have begun this journey." His eyes carried conviction as he held the green orbs captive.

"Help me believe you," the red one's voice came softly. "I want to…I want to believe you."

"Come to me, let me soothe you," Hiei's voice here was gentle, able to say things here in this plane that he could not physically. Not that he didn't feel them, but that he still felt awkward expressing his emotions verbally, but he was making progress. Red flowed into him, hesitantly, and he could see the black shadows still holding the green eyed one. "I love you," he said softly, black flames caressing red. "It's okay to feel the way you do. But, don't let that feeling keep you away from us." As Shuichi grew a little bolder, Hiei began to soothe away some of the wounds on the red form, helping them to heal. As they were ministered to, the black of the bindings began to fade and the red one became more confident. Black fire and red wrapped around each other as the world resolved around them again.

Kurama was moving within Hiei, his hand between their bodies, his eyes locked in the red ones. His tears had stopped and there was a small black velvet bag in his free hand. He wanted to ask Hiei about it, but the knife edge of passion was too close, and Hiei's body convulsed in his hand and tightened around him, pulling that blade through his body and mind. He collapsed bonelessly on the koorime, panting, bringing the velvet bag slowly closer to his face. Some how, he knew what was in it and it gave him great comfort. He could hear Yusuke moving beyond the closed bedroom door as he slowly pushed himself off Hiei. As red eyes watched him, he slowly opened the bag, almost afraid that his guess would be wrong, even though he knew it couldn't be. He slipped his fingers in and between his index finger and thumb withdrew a perfectly round nearly black stone that had a red iridescence. Hiei took the gem away from the redhead and held it in his palm for both of them to see. "Can I call you weak for doing something I did, Shuichi?"

"How…?" the confused question began.

"You were reaching for the lube in the drawer and pulled these out as well. I was going to show them to you, I wanted you to know."

"I don't really remember…" Kurama continued to stare at the stone, proof that Hiei had shed tears and wanted him to know.

"I know. After a while, though, you will know what happens on the physical plane and that other plane are mirrors of each other. Shadowy mirrors, not reflecting everything, but mirrors none the less."

Kurama thought a long time, his eyes continued to be focused on the gem that Hiei obligingly held for him. He felt Yusuke moving around their bodies, cleaning them, but he couldn't really hear, his mind was too focused on its activities, on reaching the understanding that was tantalizingly just out of reach. Slowly, he closed his eyes, willing himself to see the other that dwelled within him for the first time. "Youko," he called tentatively.

The silver one appeared, slowly moving toward the red one, "Shuichi."

"My bindings…they were…they were things I created, weren't they?"

"Some of them, yes. Some were the result of things you created."

"They were fear and lies and attempts at hiding, weren't they?"

The silver one seemed to nod, not answering verbally, knowing the red one was nearing the answer he needed to finish the work he'd begun. He knew his alter was a quick study, and this was something he had to do on his own.

Shuichi was silent a long time, his eyes scanning the vastness of this no where place. Softly, more to himself, he began, "At first, I was afraid of you…you barged in and took over my life before it began, handling everything, working circumstances and everything to suit your goal. Then, I feared you leaving me, that I wouldn't be able to be who every one knew…to be you, so I started learning from you, trying to be you. And then, you weren't leaving. I didn't know what to do then. I allowed you to continue to have your way because that was easier than coping with anything else. It was easier than figuring out who I might be. And, then, this with Hiei…and my mother…and everything else. I couldn't…I was afraid to be myself…to challenge you…so…so, I let myself be bound, I added to those bindings." Red flowed along itself to the final binding. "I did this to myself, and…and I'm not sorry…no…that's not quite right. I wish I didn't have to learn this lesson this way. I wish there had been an easier way, but…but…I don't want…I don't want to be bound anymore. I am ready to face you, to face me, to face them. I am ready to claim my heritage, who I am, to fully realize what we can be." Green eyes met gold. "I know what it means now. I know what it means for me to be Shuichi, for you to be Youko and for us to be Kurama." Green eyes returned to the binding. "It's so simple, really. Together, we are more than either of us could be apart. You didn't mean for me to be frightened, but my soul was too young and yours too weak at the time. Before you could explain, I had already wrapped myself in those chains, and though you tried, with all those conversations, I couldn't see. It wasn't you I hated, Youko, it was myself. You were very patient with me, Youko," he glanced up quickly, "but, now…now it is time we were truly free, the two of us, to be what we can be." With that, he removed the binding, brilliant lights flashing before his eyes. "I LOVE YOU!" he cried for the world to hear.

His body arched up from the bed in extreme ecstasy, his harsh cry echoing in the room as red and brown eyes watched in awe. Though at no time had the redhead touched himself, his body was climaxing violently over itself. They watched in awe and concern as the pale form collapsed to the bed, sobbing "I love you," over and over.

Hiei moved first, touching the redhead's shoulder, "Shuichi?"

Green eyes turned to meet his, "I am Kurama…and I love you, Hiei." Those eyes held golden fire and were full of life and love and joy.

Yusuke released a breath, "Gods, Kurama, you're beautiful…" His words trailed off when those green orbs met his.

"I love you, Yusuke." He smiled, "I love you both…all of us," he corrected himself, laughing when his body complained, "and I demand you feed me!"

Yusuke laughed, the spell of those eyes broken, "Yes, sir," he quipped, picking up the store bought bag of sweet rolls he'd dropped when he'd entered the room and saw the wild contortions Kurama's body was taking. Opening the bag, he proffered it to Kurama and Hiei before taking one himself. Cockily, he raised his bread, "To freedom!"

Kurama laughed, "To love"

Hiei softly echoed Kurama, "To love."

Yusuke agreed, "To love, now eat!" And they did, moving as one to devour the breads.

They ate in silence, all needing the fuel before anything else was done or said. When he finished, Kurama yawned mightily, stretching along the bed before relaxing again. Yusuke silently ran his hand along the redhead's leg before getting up and leaving the room. Hiei caressed the red hair as green eyes drifted closed, surrendering to exhaustion of the emotionally taxing day. He yawned once more, muttering, "What a wonderful vacation…"

Yusuke cut him off as he returned to the room and began cleaning the redhead, massaging his body gently, "Yeah, you get to be loved, freed and sleep. Enjoy it while you can."

"Yeah," Kurama answered, "who knows when I'll get to sleep again." His eyes were heavy with sleep as Hiei and Yusuke left the bed, covering him before they left the room. As darkness claimed him, he found himself once more standing with the silver one. "Youko," he acknowledged.

"Shuichi," the gold eyed silver one answered.

"I have let someone in." Green eyes smiled over to him.

A/N: Well, this is it, my dears. I hope you liked it. I don't kow what I'm going to do next, so...see ya next time...whenever that is...


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